Review: The COMMANDO Parody NO CHANCE Serves Up Nostalgic Laughs and Thrills for the VHS Action Crowd!

By: The Cinema Drunkie

So, ever since I was a kid, my favorite action movie has been Commando. The quintessential Arnold action classic is in my opinion the most entertaining action movie ever made (I said what I said). It also helped establish Arnold as one of the premier action stars of all time. Commando is without a doubt an action masterpiece. And yet, it didn’t get a sequel. There were attempts at getting one off the ground, but nothing ever came to fruition. That is… until now. Well, sort off…

John Mantrixx (playing himself!) has to escape from a mental institution (don’t ask) in order to rescue his daughter Chenny from the clutches of the evil Barrett. Again. And no, those are no typos.

No Chance is the hilarious parody sequel to the greatest action movie ever made. An incredibly fun, glorious, laugh out loud tribute to the films of Arnold Schwarzenegger as well as the 80s action genre as a whole. Seriously, if you love 80s action movies, you’re in for a treat! This send up is so much fun. Director Matt Poitras and his co-writer Jason Chilton (who also plays Barrett) craft such an epic trip down memory lane with so many call backs to the action movies of our youth while simultaneously doing their own thing. And it works tremendously!

“Mantrixx” also carries this endeavor beautifully with his hilarious impersonation of Arnold, complete with an “ARRGGHH ARRGGHH!” noise every time he moves! I was literally in tears watching him. So perfect. Chilton is also a joy as Barrett, doing the great Vernon Wells proud. The rest of the cast is amazing, particularly one cameo that is sure to get the audience cheering. You’ll know it when you see it.

Also, for being an obvious low budget feature, the action sequences are very well done. It’s a parody, but the filmmakers very clearly went to great lengths to give us quality looking action as well as the comedy. Shootouts, fistfights, explosions, the works. Kudos to Poitras for maintaining such an awesome level of action that’s comparable to the very movies he’s sending up. Salute!

All in all, this was such a fun time. The kind of movie that feels like if Cannon Group had commissioned a sequel to Commando that was written by the Airplane guys, but directed by David A. Prior on the same budget he made Deadly Prey with. Which is, quite frankly, masterpiece material right there. Its streaming on Amazon Prime right now, so if that sounds like your cup of tea, see it ASAP. I highly recommend it!

Artwork By Carlos Nunez

About The Aurthor: With his mind utterly intoxicated off of a steady stream of movies, comics and cartoons, a young boy from Brooklyn, New York grew up to become the man known as… THE CINEMA DRUNKIE!!!